Goodbye 2013, Hello New Year!

Today is the last day of 2013, which makes it an auspicious date to reflect on our lives from the past year. Honestly, I am still baffled by the date of 2013, as I was pretty sure little more than a year ago that we wouldn’t make it here, being under the slight delusion that the world would end on December 21, 2012. All that happened that day, however, was that I received my first speeding ticket. Sort of a let-down for the apocalypse but also a relief because I wouldn’t have to figure out how to live in a world without electricity or tampons.

So after the Continuation of Normal Life on December 21, 2012, eleven days later came the New Year, 2013. At that time I was working full time in Salem, training our new legal assistant, and living in a crappy apartment in Tualatin. One year later, on the eve of 2014, I am living in a house in North Portland with three wonderful roommates (which turned out to be a better decision than I could have hoped for), working full time in downtown Portland, and that legal assistant I was training is now a bad-ass at her job and is not only an amazing co-worker, but a great friend. I have also worked hard this year at Getting Fit, to which I can say, I HAVE SUCCEEDED, mostly. Granted, I did not hit any specific "Life Milestones" this year (aka a graduation, proposal, marriage, child, or even a particularly enjoyable date), but I DID go to Hawaii three times… so there’s that.

This year on Christmas Eve, after we had opened presents and consumed several glasses of red wine, my step-dad suggested we do a solstice ritual. At first, I imagined dancing naked under a full moon and lighting sage to sweep out ghosts and braiding our hair with pine needles, but it turns out it was a simple reflection with a candle. We sat around our kitchen table fully clothed, lights out, one candle lit in front of each of us. “Reflect on the year, and when you are ready, say what you want to let go of for the New Year and blow out your candle.” We sat in a peaceful silence, and when I was ready, I said, “My intention is to let go of expecting too much too soon.” And I blew out my candle. After everyone had stated their intentions, we re-lit our candles using the fire from anothers candle, and stated what we intended to bring into the New Year. “My intention is to Be Heard.” I said.

Be Heard. Through writing, by developing my skills in this craft, and by finally being confident enough to send my work to publishers. But in other aspects of my life as well. If something bothers me, I don’t want to just ignore it anymore. I want to speak up. My thoughts and feelings are worth something, and knowing me, if I feel I am being rude I am probably just being honest. Though I don’t feel that conflict is something that presents itself too often in my life, I want to know that if it does arise, that I’ll be able to deal with it appropriately. By being heard and not silencing how I really feel.

On this New Year’s Eve, I am reflecting on the past year but looking ahead as well. What else do I want to bring into my life this year? For one, I know that I will be working on my Discovery Journal. Doing one new thing a week and really taking advantage of living in Portland. I am looking forward to this journey.

Additionally, I have decided to do an alcohol detox for the first two weeks of this year, for several reasons:

1) It will be healthy for me.

2) I will save money.

3) The holidays have created a booze-consuming monster out of me, and I need to get myself under control by practicing Self Discipline.

4) Also, Self-Deprivation is said to be a good thing to partake in by Buddha. Probably.

This is what I call a Challenge, and as we all know, Challenges are good for building character. Why two weeks, you ask? A month is entirely too long, and a week seems too easy. Last year my friend Julie declared that she wouldn’t drink for the entire month of January, and she did pretty well too… until we went out to one of our favorite restaurants and I ordered the sangria, and like a devil on her shoulder, convinced her that she wanted some sangria too. She was days away from meeting her goal, and I still feel a little bad about that. Sorry Julie… but wasn’t that sangria good?!

So here’s to building character, to going out in STYLE tonight – our last hours in 2013 – to wrap up an amazing year, and to bringing in a New Year with a fresh start. Also, we can’t forget a salute to another year without an apocalypse, and (hopefully) for many more years to come!

Happy New Year to you all, may it bring you everything you are looking for.

Christmas Cheer and White Elephants

This morning I got my first bout of Holiday Cheer. I was SPRINTING to the bus stop, heeled boots clunking down the sidewalk, extremities flailing, when I heard the bus arrive. I was still a block away, and it couldn't see me as I was running perpendicular to it. RUN FASTER YOU PANSY! Do NOT think about how ridiculous you look! And though I somehow upped the pace, the bus began pulling away and, defeated, I stopped and just stared as it drove away. Damnit.

But as I gazed dejectedly at the retreating form of my transportation, suddenly it's brake lights came on, it slowed down, and then pulled over. My eyes widened and I again was sprinting towards it, even more self-concious now that I KNEW the driver and perhaps even some passengers had seen my heeled-boot run. But it was hard to care when I was so elated at my good fortune.

I stepped on the bus and looked at my savior, a large black man, my Santa Claus. "You are the best." I panted as I tried to draw breath and get out my bus pass at the same time. "Thank you."

"Merry Christmas." He said almost smugly, as if he knew he was my hero. "I saw you stop running and I though, 'What is that girl doing? Why is she just standing there?' After awhile on this job you get good at reading people."

"Thank you so much." I repeated, trying to breathe normally and not sweat on him. How nice of that man, to pull over for someone he saw out of the corner of his eye, a sad little girl in boots. Merry Christmas.

As I sat on the bus staring out at the dreary morning, reflecting on the kindess of strangers, I began thinking about my upcoming Christmas festivities. Recently on my dad's side of the family, the generation above mine have stopped taking responsibility for organizing Christmas and lapsed into lazy passengers, and the burden has fallen on my cousins and I, or, as I like to think of us, "The Wonderkids." Actually it is my oldest cousin Caitlyn, who is married and even has two beautiful children, that wears the pants this year. She is exactly three life milestones ahead of any of the rest of us, and perhaps that gives her the authority to make Christmas Decisions. And as we are all very close in age, it seems that all other family members like to compare "The Wonderkids" against her; at times you can find older family members cornering one of us and asking, "So, gonna follow in Caitlyn's footsteps any time soon?" At which point our eyes glaze over and we smile vacantly until the topic of conversation shifts to something more appropriate, like shooting gophers with 22's, the benefits of campers, or Aggie the three-legged dog.

This is the year of the White Elephant. I am a bit confused as to why it is called a White Elephant, when "Blood-thirsty Gift Exchange" would be just as appropriate, but I suppose it comes down to tradition. In years past we have always just drawn names (there are now 26 people in our family), but this year we decided to try something new. We almost didn't, but I had to put my foot down. "We need an event that is going to force all of us together." I noted thoughtfully. Without some organized gift exchange, it would be just a bunch of people eating and drinking together... which, actually, doesn't sound that bad.

But the idea of making all of us sit in the same room and duke it out for presents sounded even more appealing to me, and I really cannot wait. This is an event we have never done before, I'm pretty excited to see what happens when we mix my family members, alcohol and stealable presents all in the same room. "GO PLAY DONKEY KONG!" My grandma will yell to the younger kids when they try to come see what the noise is all about, "THIS IS WAR!" And there will be an echo of drunken war cries from the rest of us and the kids will roll their eyes and go play Just Dance like winners, because Donkey Kong is so "last generation." Whatever.

Being young and hip, we discussed the plan of the White Elephant with "The Wonderkids" over a group Facebook message (we, unlike our older generations, have the imperative skillz to all communicate at the same time using the highest level of technology, Social Media, which therefore make us the ideal generation). After several messages of, "Stop this, you are all blowing up my phone," planning a mass text to our grandfather at 3:15 on his birthday, and an unstoppable ambush of large kitten stickers, we were able to actually figure out a solid Plan for Christmas. With only one, "I do not accept, I want all the presents" from one cousin ("No one cares what you think, Caralyn," being the general response), we agreed on a White Elephant for adults and a gift exchange for children. And then... I had an idea.

"You know what would be fun?! Energetically suggesting to the younger kids that they put on a Christmas play for us, and have them act out the Grinch. And tell them that we are withholding presents until they thouroughly entertain us. GREAT idea, right?!"
"Ash, I always knew you were brilliant." Cassy replied.
"Yea. And Caralyn could be the director." Kellen added.
"Brayden can be the Grinch, Bridgette can be Cindy Loo-Hoo, and Keylee can be that dog that rides around in a sled with the Grinch." I add helpfully.
"MAX is the dogs name! Ohhhhhhh Maxxx!! This would be my first work in theater." Caralyn replied.

I can see it now. Brayden will be dressed up in an old Santa suit, his face painted green, running around as only 8-year-old boys can, pulling little toddler Keylee (aka Max the dog/reindeer) in a red wagon without so much as a backwards glance at her well-being. We will make Bridgette put her hair up on top of her head, clasp her hands, and sing "Da-Hoo-Dora" as she learned in pre-school (probably), and... I'm out of characters, but really, that would be enough. Daniel and Matthew can be back-up singers. And Caralyn will be the narrator, "And his heart grew three times that day." She will say solemnly, as Brayden misses the steps into the living room, toppling himself and Keylee on the bright orange carpet, and Bridgette will be singing so passionatley that she will not miss a note, ignoring the chaos reigning at her feet.

Damn. I'd pay to watch that. Alright, Caralyn, time to get started.

Merry Christmas!

I Challenge You to DISCOVER

I have an idea. I want to present it to you, to see if you would like to be a part of a challenge that will make your life even more awesome... probably.

When we travel, everything is new and exciting. New places, new people, new colors and cultures and foods to try. These experiences are vivid because they stir our emotions: excitement, wonder, awe... or perhaps frustration, anger, or desperation. Whatever the experience is, it is not mediocre or apathetic. We remember the moments when the new unfurls a part of our soul that had laid dormant for so long in our comfort, in our stagnation. Looking back on these experiences, it is easy to see that the new stirs strong emotions, and because of that strength, these memories are more vivid. Memories thrive on emotion, and the stronger the emotion, the stronger the memory.

What I'm trying to say is that when we experience something new, our life is enhanced. It becomes more colorful and exciting. And though we can't all travel the world to gain experiences of that magnitude, there ARE ways we can evoke these emotions right here at home.

My challenge to you is this: Do something new, at least once a week.

This can be going to a new restaurant or trying a new activity or visiting a new place or even something as simple as cooking a new dish or ordering a drink you have never tried. Whether you like it or not, whether you have fun or experience disappointment, you will be putting yourself outside of your normal, everyday habits, adding more color to your life.

The second part of this challenge is this: Document your new experience.

I think the best way to do this would be to buy a blank sketch book or journal. Let's call this our "Discovery Journal." Write about your New Experience, or draw a picture, or tape a photo in it. If you have another way in which you would like to document your journey, go for it! This is a creative experience. In some way, record it.

This challenge starts on January 1, 2014. I'm proposing this challenge at the beginning of December, 2013, so that we have a month to prepare: a month to buy a journal, a month to reflect on where your life is now, and a month to begin thinking about what experiences you would like to have in 2014. I have already started a list of ideas that I may want to tackle in the coming year: Take a glass-blowing class, learn how to make spiced wine, ride the aerial tram at OHSU, go kayaking... the possibilities are endless and exciting to think about. What do you want to experience in your life but you haven't made the time to do yet? Now is the time!

And if you think this is a good idea, tell your friends, tell your family! Get them to do it with you, and the experience can be shared with those you love. It may inspire some new trips and activities together, and what is more fun that trying something new with someone you can laugh about it with?

After a year, you will have had at least 52 New Experiences, and have enhanced your life in 52 ways, whether big or small. This challenge is for you. Our life is passing us by every day, NOW is the time to experience it.

Let's make it beautiful, yes?

Challenge extended!