"You girls want to come wakeboarding on our boat?" They yelled from a good distance away.
Brittany and I look each other, questioning. We have been sitting in our dads boat on the lake for several hours now, enjoying some Keystone Light, listening to some Foreigner, and generally having a wonderful time in the sun. Did we really want to get onto someone else's boat who we barely knew just to wakeboard, which we had done already that day anyways? We look to the boat and begin shouting back.
"I DON'T THINK -- " I began.
"MAYBE ANOTHER -- " Brittany says at the same time, until our dad cuts us off.
"Girls." He says softly, and we stop mid-rejection to look at him. "That's an invitation." Brittany and I look at each other, shrug, then turn back to the boat.
"YEAH, OKAY!"
"THAT WOULD BE GREAT!"
The boat comes over and we climb aboard in our bikinis, and our step-mom Laurie gets in as well. The sun is sinking slowly towards the horizon as we watch Laurie put on the wakeboard and get behind the boat. It's getting a little cold. I kind of have to pee. We throw a towel over ourselves and sit facing the back, watching Laurie. There are several other people on the boat who we have previously met back at the campsite, including three guys about our age, their friend, one of their girlfriends, and their mother. One of the boys is so good-looking that Brittany and I have to avert our eyes, and focus instead on watching the wakeboarders and listening to their mother's ceaseless commentary as each of them take their turns behind the boat. And that is when I realize, I really have to pee. But I shove it down. We should back soon.
These boys are GOOD at wakeboarding. My friends thought I was good because I could go outside the wake and jump it a little bit on the way back without crashing, but these kids LEAP over the wakes, can turn their boards 180 degrees flawlessly, do tricks while they're soaring in the air... I have to admit, I had never watched such good wakeboarders. Their mom is taking pictures every time they jump. And yet, I still have to pee.
The urge is getting stronger now, and I shift in my seat to try and get more comfortable. I should have jumped in the water and just got it over with, but it's so COLD now. And I'm so dry, and the sun is going down. I try to focus on something else, so I listen to their mother again.
"...wasn't going to buy a boat in the first place. I told my husband, 'I will not get a boat unless it has a bathroom,' and what do you know, we found this one! I am not the type of person to pee in the water, I need a proper toilet." Then she pointed to a spot on the boat I had assumed was just a storage space, but when she shows it off, it indeed is a very small space, you would have to crunch yourself in a ball and back into it, but there is a small toilet, and some toilet paper. Damn.
I stare at the cubby. My bladder is starting to cause me pain, just like the time I was driving home from Salem on 99W. I thought I could make it home, but I realized while I was driving through the farmlands and forests that there was NO WAY I could make it, but there were no towns coming up soon enough. I was sure I would have to pull over on the side of the road next to a tree and just endure the shame and hope no one drove by while my pants were around my ankles, but then I remembered there was a mini mart in Adair Village. When I pulled up, I laboriously got out of the car and hobbled into the store, afraid I wouldn't make it to the bathroom on time. As I walked in, I desperately asked the cashier, "Do you have a bathroom?!"
He stared at me suspiciously. "Are you a customer?"
"Yes, fine, fine. Whatever, where is the bathroom?" I grimaced. He pointed down a hallway and I practically ran to it, relieved that I had found a proper toilet and would not have to hike into the forest. When I came out of the bathroom, feeling so content after the stress I had just endured that I felt like whistling, I picked up some candy bars and set them on the counter. The cashier looked at me. "You need to buy at least five dollars to be able to use your debit card."
I glared at him. I then grabbed a couple chocolates to complete the transaction. This man was charging me $5 to use his bathroom. Rude. But worth it.
As I sit in the boat and reflect on the desperation of that situation, I decide that, NO, I will not use that little taunting bathroom. EVERYONE on the boat would KNOW I was peeing. On the same boat they were sitting on. I could TOUCH most of them while sitting on that mini toilet if there were no walls around me. No. I can hold it.
I can't hold it. WHY did I drink so much beer?? Beer is the devil! Yes, I can hold it. Think about something else. Think about deserts, and watch the wakeboarders. Look! He just grabbed his board in mid air! No, you can hold it. You are a strong woman who controls her bladder in social situations. You do not need to use this bathroom. Can bladders actually burst?? You can make it back to camp, we will be there soon! Wait... WHY is the boat turning away from camp?! Oh my GOD, I HAVE TO PEE!
"I need to use your little bathroom." I say abruptly while standing up. The pain is just too much, and I'm afraid that with one little turn of the boat will cause a much bigger problem than having them see me back into that little cubby. I try to laugh and be cool about ducking down into a hidey-hole. The space is cramped and my knees are up to my chin. It takes me a while to figure out how to actually flush the damned thing. I generally hate the experience.
I eventually emerge triumphant from the potty cubby, but I feel awkward. I just peed in their boat.
"I just peed in your boat." I announce to everyone. Why did I say that? I think Brittany rolls her eyes at me, and everyone else chuckles. The hot guy raises his eyebrows. I ignore that. I sit back down next to Brittany. A changed woman. And finally not terrified that I would pee all over her. She doesn't even know the bullet she dodged.
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