Good Girl

I'm a pretty good girl. As a child I was terrified of breaking rules, because I can't stand someone being mad at me or being punished. Once when I was in elementary school, I cheated on this game at our Halloween party in 3rd grade... There was a tray of different toys and other random things and you got to look at it for only a certain amount of time, and then it was covered up and you had to write down all the things you could remember. So I wrote down all that I could, but when they revealed the answers, I wrote down a few more because I thought, "I definitely remembered that!" I ended up winning, and I got a cute stuffed bear as a prize. Yay!

Though I was happy at first, that night I realized that I had cheated. I had won that bear through deception. I broke the rules to win, and the thought haunted my 8-year-old dreams. I looked over at the prize bear sitting on my nightstand and it seemed to taunt me, "Cheater. Cheater. Cheater." I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I took the bear and threw it into the back of my closet, covered it with a blanket and pretended it had never happened.

In middle school, I had a couple run-ins with a teacher that seemed to despise me. I had him in 7th grade for home room, where we spent very little time. My desk was right next to the chalk board. One time I was playing with the chalk dust, and was writing "Hi" on the board while he was talking. He looked at me and said, "Ashley, stop that please." So I did, but when I thought he wasn't looking, I dotted the "i" because it just wasn't complete without it. There! Perfect.

"Ashley." He said. I instantly froze. Uh-oh. "Come with me." Oh my God! Oh my God oh my God oh my God. I followed him out into the hall, the eyes of my classmates following me across the room and through the door. He turned to me, and began. "...need to learn to obey when a teacher talks to you..." "...extremely disrespectful..." "...immature behavior..." I don't even remember what he said because I was in so much shock at being reprimanded that I could barely hear what he was saying. I just nodded and tried not to look right at him, for fear his eyes would burn into my soul.

It didn't help that the next year in 8th grade, my social studies teacher's classroom was right across the hall from his, and he just happened to find me at my worst yet again. A student named Veronica who was in my class had not completed her spelling packet. She was my friend, and I felt bad for her because English was her second language. About 15 minutes before class started and the packet was due, I took her out into the hall and helped her fill in some of the things she hadn't completed... when suddenly I felt eyes on me, and turned around to find HIM standing there. "Ashley." he said, his voice full of disdain. "And what is your name." He asked Veronica. She told him, and nodded. "Come with me."

This time, I was less fearful and simply pissed. HOW does this evil man appear every time I do something wrong?! I am a good kid! I'm a good student! I rarely do anything wrong, how does he know when to show up?! Does he have a radar or something?! I sat with  my arms crossed as he lectured both of us in his classroom, refusing to look at him. He then brought our teacher in to rat us out. I don't even remember the punishment, but seriously, I'm sure I blocked it out because that guy was an asshole.

I'm not a troublemaker; I don't normally do things that I shouldn't. I generally like rules, but sometimes, and I'm sure everyone feels like this at some point, I want to break them. Just a little bit.

It is the summer after I graduated college. I am feeling a little lost, just waiting around for September to come so that I can head off to Spain for almost a year. But the waiting is making me a little reckless.

I am at a party at my then-boyfriend's house, Tyler. We all decide to head over to the local dive bar, The Peacock. Before heading out, Tyler's roommate grabs a Keystone Light. Corvallis has a strict No Open Container rule, but we don't care! We are tipsy and heading off to go dancing, what's the harm in bringing a little bit of beer for the long walk over there? We are all of age, no big deal.

We are passing the beer around so everyone can enjoy it. At one point, I have the beer and am sipping and chatting and can't hear the warning mutterings of one of my friends, "There's a cop, there's a cop, there's a cop..."
"And then, Olivia, do you know what he said?! He said --"
"THERE'S A COP!" Someone yells, and sure enough, driving right towards us is a police car.

I look at the beer can in my hand, look at the police car, and then fling the beer can from my hand. It thumps into the tall grass growing next to the railroad tracks.

"Weeeeeeeooooohh!" The lights come on, the siren screams, and I just stand there. Shit.

The cop car whips around and pulls up right next to us. The rest of my friends back away but I walk right up to the officer. Obviously, I am the one in trouble here.

"Miss." The officer says. "Can I see your license." I give it to him. "Did you just throw a beer can into the grass?"

"Yes."

"Go pick it up."

"... Really?" I ask. He stares at me. I glare back at him, then turn and walk into the grass. This is so stupid. What a jerk, I can't believe he's making me do this, I will never find that damn beer can! It's dark, and this is a freaking field. There is no way.... Suddenly, I see a silver can and reach down and grab it, and start walking back towards the car. Something isn't exactly right with this beer, but I ignore the suspicion.

The officer is writing up my ticket, and I stand in front of him, holding the beer can. The officer looks up from writing and then does a double take.

"... Is that a full beer can?"

I look down at the beer. "Yes." This is obviously not the same beer I flung in the grass...

The officer glares at me and continues writing up the ticket. I am vaguely surprised that I am holding a full beer can, but I try to act like I don't care what happens to me now. I'm totally cool. ALSO I'm a bad ass. Yep.

Someone comes on over the radio and the officer's partner pulls him away for a second. He comes back and says to me, "Tonight is your lucky night, we just got called in for a burglary." Then he turns, gets into his car, and they drive away.

I stand there, stunned, holding a full beer can. What the hell just happened?! I almost got an outrageous ticket that would show up on my record and drain me of any money I had saved for Spain... it's a miracle! My friends rush over after the officer leaves, asking me what happened. I just show them the beer.

"Oh my god, where did you get that?!" They ask. They are surprised then laughing as they congratulate me on my close call. Then Tyler's roommate reaches out and grabs the beer, cracks it open, takes a long drink, and we continue walking to the Peacock.

I guess we can't always be good.